my feelings

mm.. seriously sometimes i think dat life it's just a bull shit to me. well actually all the time. maybe i've yet to grow up myself... but i've been tinkin.. wat's death like? i'm not being all sad,emo shits and stuff. just curious. is that a good sign? or rather not..

Shiawase wa nani? wat the hell is happiness? which person in this world has ever achieve happiness AND kept it for a long time? tell me! i would love gettin to know de person.

From my point of view, happiness is just short term phycological drugs which keeps u away from the main point of suffering. Meaning, being unhappy is the "BASE" of life.

it's a cradle to grave situation where everyone feels happy for a short period of time. really, what has life have to offer? the truth is... i really wished i wasn't born. i dun blame my mama ok... it's just that all de world has is nothin but sufferin with small doses of hapiness.
yes i do find hapiness now and then.. but dat's about it. maybe i shld'nt tink so much and everythin. like yar~ i'm 18 and ppl says i'm metally 13. =_=~

but right now, i may sound immature.. talkin bout being happy or sad. but don't u all tink that de complicated situations starts from these very same simple subjects that i'm applying? well... i tink simple.. in a complicated way. (huh? :X) sigh.

one ting i am very good at, is being an actress of lies to myself. hiding behind that fake unmoving smile whenever i'm unhappy. only when times i just can't take the pain anymore, will i just keep quiet and do nothin. i really dispise myself for being like dat. so i tell myself and to you readers, to find true hapiness. to never give it up. fight for it. take it all.

for it's the only thing where a tiny flitter of hope starts to take flight.