i've had travel on the brain recently. what with daydreaming/hostel-hunting for barcelona and wrapping up the important details of the palawan trip on thursday. i thought i'd just let my mind wander a bit.
* sometimes i worry that i no longer know how to write for myself. at work, i write for a triumvirate: viewer (the fictitious "aling fely"), client, boss. sometimes i manage to throw myself in there somewhere, but that pretty much depends on how much i can become one (better if all) of the persons in the trio. don't get me wrong, i'm not unhappy at work. just -- worried.
my blog is supposed to be my own personal space, but lately i wonder if i've really been treating it that way. maybe i'm writing for a triumvirate here too -- here, at least, i should be part of it.
* right before my very first europe tour, i used to measure time in terms of the trip. the future was cut up into neat segments called "before i leave", "while i'm there" and "when i get back," each with a hope or goal pinned to it. i wrote about it in english class and sweet, wonderful doreen scribbled next to my A, "relax! just flow with it." i'm falling into that same habit again; anticipation can be so delicious. but this time there's no doreen to tell me to just let things happen.
* it's going to take a lot of guts for me to draw in the office on wednesday. it's not just that there are so many artists and creative people -- it's that there are a lot of opinionated ones as well. how many times have i been mean just to be funny?
* marlon and my family will be thrown together for four days. wonder how it'll go. can't help but think that he's being very brave about this.
* wonder if being in the philippines' most pristine corners of ocean will give me more ideas for my new baby. must take lots of pictures for charlie to use.
* sometimes i worry that i no longer know how to write for myself. at work, i write for a triumvirate: viewer (the fictitious "aling fely"), client, boss. sometimes i manage to throw myself in there somewhere, but that pretty much depends on how much i can become one (better if all) of the persons in the trio. don't get me wrong, i'm not unhappy at work. just -- worried.
my blog is supposed to be my own personal space, but lately i wonder if i've really been treating it that way. maybe i'm writing for a triumvirate here too -- here, at least, i should be part of it.
* right before my very first europe tour, i used to measure time in terms of the trip. the future was cut up into neat segments called "before i leave", "while i'm there" and "when i get back," each with a hope or goal pinned to it. i wrote about it in english class and sweet, wonderful doreen scribbled next to my A, "relax! just flow with it." i'm falling into that same habit again; anticipation can be so delicious. but this time there's no doreen to tell me to just let things happen.
* it's going to take a lot of guts for me to draw in the office on wednesday. it's not just that there are so many artists and creative people -- it's that there are a lot of opinionated ones as well. how many times have i been mean just to be funny?
* marlon and my family will be thrown together for four days. wonder how it'll go. can't help but think that he's being very brave about this.
* wonder if being in the philippines' most pristine corners of ocean will give me more ideas for my new baby. must take lots of pictures for charlie to use.
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