Eto na

eto na...

eto na...

eto na...

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!

--

packing is miraculously done -- marlon and i did it over the phone last night (oooh yes hot i know), folding socks simultaneously with the receivers cradled under our chins. another reason to love my boyfriend: he listens to me agonizing over what bag to bring and solves the dilemma by asking stunningly perceptive, girly-like questions such as "but will that actually make any of your outfits look better?"

the end of my to-do list is in sight, and so is a wonderful adventure.

--

so here's the plan:

october 20 - finish off my last-minute errands, fly off from manila
october 21 - stopover in dubai/ arrive in paris/ somehow find marlon
october 21 to 27 - paris, france! concerts/ masses/ embassy visit/ rehearsals/ my 25th birthday
october 27 to november 1 - saint-lo, normandy, france! polyfollia choral festival/ concerts/ rehearsals/ hopefully some fun in the evenings
november 1 to 14 - pais vasco a.k.a. basque country, spain! tolosa international choral competition/ a couple of free days/ concerts in the region: pamplona, eibar, zarauz, borja

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PRAY FOR US

ON NOVEMBER 4!

4PM (10AM RP time) Folklore Competition

10PM (4pm RP time) Polyphony Competition

november 14 to 17 - the great grandada adventure! andalucia (granada and sevilla) with pia and jeline

november 17 to 20 - barcelona, spain with miikka and jonathan

november 20 - manila, i'm coming home!

bye everybody! will try to update on the road. pray that i don't get sick or too fat, that zara will be on some kind of megasale and that i don't run out of money!

Fasyon + warmth = impossible?

haaaaay. wish ko lang talaga na ganito ako ka-fasyon on tour. but i have this creeping suspicion that only people born and bred in cold climes can look this fabulous and still stay warm. woe to poor tropical me.

woe to poor denim-loving me, too. our super-fasyon vp and i had a quick chat in the elevator about my trip. she used to work for a prestige beauty brand, so she used to go to europe a lot, particularly paris. her mini-bombshell of advice before stepping out of the elevator: "oh, and don't wear blue jeans. they don't like it." gaaah. how can i not wear blue jeans and still stay warm?

i've been staying up till 2am every day for the past few days doing my packing in little chunks. clothes and makeup today, shoes and bags tomorrow, that sort of thing.

whenever i feel like just tossing random things into my suitcase, i call up images of the way i looked in my 2000 and 2001 european trips -- thinness squandered on katulong- and dyke-ish shapeless outfits *shudder* -- and the horror and shame spur me to be more conscientious. i want to try on all my clothes before i actually go, but i don't know if i'll still have the time or energy. i might have to look at actual photos of myself in 2000 and 2001 to find the resolve.

the photo of the fabulous outfit, by the way, is from hel looks, a site dedicated to street fashion in helsinki and one of my favorite sites. visiting this site is like going to an ukay-ukay -- you have to wade through a lot of crappy, so-so and sometimes thoroughly bizarre outfits to find real gems. the idiosyncratic english soundbytes ("my style idols are marilyn monroe and all smiling people") are also a blast to read.

Midnight at the Medical City E.R.

ok game! kwento na!

a.k.a., "the mysterious case of the midnight higad"

okay. for the past three weeks, i've been getting these weird pantal (is there an english translation that adequately conveys the ickiness of pantal?) on my tummy. they were especially weird because they would appear only at the office past 11 p.m. (apparently, i'm allergic to overtime.) and since i had no time to see a doctor, there was there was no choice but to itch and bear it...

until last wednesday. i was relieving my mounting work- and tour-related anxieties with the boyf over brownie a la mode at jack's loft. i had the itchies as usual, and was even talking to marlon about finding time to go to an allergy specialist before my trip. all of a sudden my face went numb and hot at the same time and within seconds, the entire left side of my face had puffed up like some freakish pink souffle.

so he drove me to the nearest e.r. while i entertained wild fantasies of rolling around on a very large sheet of sandpaper. at medical city, we spent a lot of time being disoriented by the sheer size of the place and sitting in the wrong room before we finally found the e.r.. we took pictures (of course) while waiting for a doctor. when we did get to see one, the first thing he said to me was: "you look familiar." my reply: "do you know anyone who looks this lumpy?"

since he couldn't determine the cause of my lumpiness (i'm allergic to virtually nothing -- i highly suspect it's stress-induced), he prescribed momentary relief via a shot of benadryl. no, not the cough syrup, but some kind of mega anti-inflammatory thing with a sedative effect. i didn't realize just how much of "sedative effect" the shot carried until i tried to get up to go to the toilet and found myself being pursued by two male nurses with a wheelchair. "i can go to the bathroom by myself. i'm not sleepy!" i protested. but the nurses wouldn't budge -- apparently i could just lose consciousness and crumple into a lumpy heap on the floor at any given moment! and so i got to take my first wheelchair ride, thoughtfully documented here by my paparazzi boyfriend.

i stayed at the e.r. until about 2am to sleep off most of the sedative, but the world remained a soupy fog for the rest of the day. i went to work literally stoned -- my vacant, unblinking stare unnerving my boss, who shouted "hoy! uminom ka nga ng tubig, nakakatakot ka!" at me during a meeting.

the sedatives were nice. last week was so hectic, i was almost sorry they wore off.

i did go to an allergologist for a follow up, though. much observation is needed for the cause of the whole blowup to be determined. unfortunately, i won't be here for the crucial observation period -- i'll be off gallivanting (and hopefully not itching) all over spain and france. but she did agree with my offhand hypothesis that it's most likely stress, and she did prescribe meds in case the itchies pop up again.

hmmm. i wonder if the meds she prescribed have a sedative effect too. i just might need them right before the competition.

Anticipation

this week, i've found myself fantasizing wildly that i could split myself into three different people. i feel like shouting one big "mismo!" to jeline's latest lj entry.

it seems that wrestling with minutiae is the way my mind has chosen to deal with the enormity of what's up ahead. i'm almost glad there's no time for muni-muni. crossing off one item at a time from my to-do list has come to provide little bursts of strength -- fuel for fending off the paroxysms of panic that would have engulfed me if i was a little more uncertain.

but i tell myself, i'm stronger than that now. with past tours, i used to rely on the trip itself to cause some kind of transformation in me, but i can't help thinking now that the change has already begun. there are more things to do and less time to do them than ever before, but i'm not panicking. (last week was a different story. i was a basket case! i was almost sorry when the sedatives from my allergy-induced trip to the e.r. finally wore off.) i've been more relaxed in rehearsals than i have in a long time. and i think i've figured out why.

it's because i know very soon, the worrying and working and juggling and balancing and mental dashing back and forth will cease to exist. and i'll be finally able to truly, utterly focus on the one thing that i want to do, the one thing i am going to europe for -- to sing.

if there's anything i hunger for at the moment, it's the luxury of being able to focus. figuratively, i'm in ten different places now. but very soon i know i will be allowed to gather myself up and plunk myself down and just be present in one place, whether it's a church in paris or a rehearsal hall in normandie. and the anticipation of that moment will be enough to pull me through.

Memory of trees

marlon and i did a lot of driving along c-5 last week, because edsa traffic was rendered thoroughly hellish by the heavy machinery (cranes and whatnot) pulling down all the billboards. we drove through the fort (does anyone ever really call it bonifacio global city?) a couple of weekday nights trying to catch serendra piazza and chef laudico’s open. which apparently never happens when you keep television network hours. anyway it was on one of these drives that i first saw what milenyo had done to mckinley road. (yes, it’s an extremely delayed reaction, but i rarely go to makati nowadays.)

i grew up in makati – went to preschool at ob montessori in dasmariñas village, and lived in the area for quite a chunk of my childhood. those acacia trees on mckinley line so many schoolday memories. walking to kindergarten under the shade of those huge, huge trees and entering by the back gate on mckinley. lying in the car on the drive home from school and looking up at a canopy of leaves so thick you could barely see the sky through them. seeing the high, graceful arch of acacias after an out-of-town trip (or even just after school) always told me that i was coming home – home, with all the wonderful and happy things that go with it.

and so, after realizing that abnormally too much sky was glaring through jagged, broken-off ends of branches, and reconciling that to all the huge exposed roots and torn-up chunks of pavement and garbage bags on the sides of the road – i wiped away tears for the mckinley's fallen acacias.

Ten days

not counting today (since it’s half done and i don’t really feel like doing anything just now), i have exactly ten days to do the following:

1. buy team manila pins to give away to my soon-to-be newfound european friends
2. buy a new team manila shirt in the hopes that a streak of warm weather will allow me to reprezzzent!
3. decide whether mousse or hairspray works best for me
4. get tested for allergies (more on this later)
5. get a long put-off biopsy for the little thingy that was found during the annual company checkup two months ago
6. get my roots retouched
7. box at least five more times
8. rehearse at least five more times
9. have one more farewell concert
10. have extra passport pictures printed
11. photocopy all my travel documents
12. change money to euros (go peso!!! hold up until i leave!!! you can do it!!!)
13. get a credit card (ang yabang ng bpi kung i-decline nila ako, ha)
14. book cheap flights from bilbao to seville and from barcelona to bilbao
15. book cheap hostels in seville and granada
16. finalize itineraries with pia, jeline, jonathan, richie, mayte and miikka
17. buy vitamins, cold medicine and bodysensor tights from marks & spencer
18. see if i can afford that black knit hat at terranova and maybe a tube of lip venom
19. check if my foldable payong is sturdy enough not to embarrass me in europe
20. hunt for a small tabo and water bottle
21. trek to janylin marikina and try on their very last pair of size six black cowboy boots - bought a very nice pair instead at half price at janylin galleria
22. check out marikina shoe expo for leftover, discounted customized boots
23. decide if my conscience will allow me to take the boyf up on his offer to just put those adorable black zara riding boots on his card thank goodness for payday pre-christmas sales that allow you to preserve your dignity
24. get a trim, pedicure and/or massage
25. figure out how to advance my october 20 and november 5 paychecks
26. write postdated checks for mom plus the water and phone bills
27. pack enough fasyon outfits to redeem myself from my european fashion disasters in 2000 and 2001 – and still leave enough luggage space for new purchases
28. spend quality time with the boyf while he’s here - other than having too many weekday dinners in 24-hour places and spending saturday rushing around malls doing my tour-related errands, we managed rather well
29. oh, and go to work every day geddammit

Revisiting Glorietta

i was at glorietta on saturday, after what i realized was almost a year. yes, i have no life. i haven't gone malling (as opposed to say, popping in for twenty minutes on a quick errand) in glorietta since i quit working in makati. fun nga pala mag-glorietta, even if it was a little disorienting at times.

there are so many people!

there are so many new stores! yay for zara, chef tony's and the mini-bibingka stall!

buhay pa pala ang piadina sa glorietta 4 food court! my family and i used to eat there when it first opened way back when. this really blond, moon-faced, harrassed italian woman used to do all the cooking by herself.

kamiseta has become so freaking expensive!

i don't recall there being so many food freebies. marlon (he's here on his first business trip in months) was so pleased. aside from the coffee fair on the ground floor (free chocolate mousse coffee from kape isla!), we got free nibbles from auntie anne's and chef tony's. mmm.

i also don't recall there being so many dumb moviegoers in glorietta 4. did they all migrate to greenbelt or something? marlon and i watched the departed (great movie -- brilliant scorsese redeems himself for gangs of new york ten times over) and had the utter misfortune to be seated to not one, but two epitomes of the moviegoer you love to hate.

not only was one woman's phone not on silent, but she took forever to answer it and must have said "hello. hello! nasa sine ako!" at least (i'm not exaggerating) eight times. our combined dagger looks only prompted her to pass the phone to her seatmate (!!!!), who continued the same line of conversation. "nasa sine kami. oo. sine. sine nga sabi. SINE!"

said seatmate was one of those running-commentary dunderheads. you know the type -- those morons who are so deprived of intellectual accomplishment that they repeat every single onscreen event to themselves as it happens so that they can pat themselves on the back for remembering names for things. (e.g., "ayan, naglalakad na siya" = "shetanggalingko i remembered that putting one foot in front of the other constitutes walking').

they also hurl theories at the screen for the unbeatable, mindblowing intellectual thrill of being right later on, which they fervently pray for throughout the entire movie. ("SABI ko na nga ba mai-in love rin siya doon sa isa!")

all puffed up with this sense of achievement, these types are also the ones who are most disappointed when the movie turns out to be *gasp* DIFFERENT from other movies that they have frantically tried to understand and loudly played back to themselves. i almost bashed my tub of chef tony's parmesan popcorn over the woman's head when, at the film's gripping, perfectly fitting ending, she said, with a half-scandalized, half-gimme-my-money-back snort, "ano ba 'tong palabas na 'to, *nachop-chop lahat ng bayag ng mga ng artista*!" (okay that didn't really happen but i'm trying to prevent spoilers here.)

as colin sullivan (matt damon) would probably say in his atrocious boston brogue: "fuck! lady, it's MAH-tin fuckin' scuh-SAY-see. whadya fuckin' expect, HARRY fuckin' PAH-tuh?" (then again, she might have been expecting titanic for godsakes because, like, leonardo dicaprio is in it.) and then he would take out his gun, waste the bitch and blast what miniscule brains she had all over the back of the seat.

ay sorry. let slip a bit of wish fulfillment there.

Milenyo strikes again

so much for "the launch is done." so much for "i'm so not showing up for work at monday." ha! good ol' milenyo caused schedules for both the pilot and the making-of special of the new show to be drastically rearranged.

well, not that drastic actually -- everything just moved down by a day. maybe it just seems drastic to me because i had to come to the office at the crack of dawn to get started on the grunt work of revising everything. writing program advisory crawlers (you know, those little red tapes that run along the bottom of your tv screen) at 7:30 a.m. is so not my ideal way of celebrating the end of a harrowing launch.

in related news, this is day four in the dark ages for the paul household. what's extra frustrating is that just a few doors up my street, others are already enjoying life in the 21st century. stupid blackout took some of the joy out of my saturday morning spree at 168 in divisoria -- i couldn't lay out my purchases and sigh over them when i got home that night (as i usually like to do) because it was too dark.

*yawn* excuse me. gotta catch up on my sleep.